It Makes Sense

He looked at me genuinely,like i was some sort of masterpiece and said i love you , and i swear to you, for once….

 For once in my life i was so sure of something i knew what i wanted and he was what was missing.

 It made sense. Everything that didn’t make sense collided beautifully and made this mural of my emotions.

I knew because…

when i felt like everything was going wrong and i’d find myself in his arms or dialing his number; everything was suddenly okay. 

he would hold my thigh steady every time i shook it when i was furious. 

he played with my hair everytime i needed to feel like a child. 

And every time i felt proud he kissed my forehead with respect and admiration.

He brings out the best in me, my eyes shine brighter than the sun when i speak about him but they shine brighter when he speaks about what he’s passionate about.

 love had a meaning and it was him.
It made sense im so happy it did.

 I love you, i always will. 

Goodbye my Muse

I no longer have a muse, my muse just like my feelings and i parted ways 

Somewhere between trying to pull on that last string and trying to make best of our chosen days. 

Or was it between the tears and the unnecessary conversations, making… Well, making something out of nothing

Thinking that our constant hugging will fix what was already shattered

I apologize to you and i for being oblivious. I was watering what was dead trying to revive something that lost its soul way back. 

I thought that a flower might nourish between a crack.
I’m glad we’re at peace.

Lost

So what is home?
 because they’re telling me its a piece of land gathered by a bunch of walls made of cement. 

 Is home a big plane of nothingness or is it your arms and chest after a long tiring day? 

Is home a closed wooden door or is home your hands around my waist?

Is home a window pane or is it your comforting voice ?

Is home my bed or you in it? 

Here i am lost and stray in the streets so please tell me what home is because it might sound cliché but i think i lost home when i lost you…

They wont tell you

See, they tell you that it would pass and eventually you will find happiness the exact bullshit from every person that didn’t feel a speck of the ocean you dove in. 
Let me tell you what they don’t tell you. 

They don’t tell you that you’re going to change, your insides will and i wish it was in one stage. 

It’s going to be divided so precisely it’s going to hurt and if you’re lucky enough you wont end up drained.  

They wont tell you that you’re going to be too tired to even laugh and when you do it would be a miracle.

They wont tell you that when you encounter what has left you , you’re heart will pound like it ran around the world twice. 

They wont tell you that its going to hurt to stand straight because of the burden pushed on your back.

They wont tell you that even the good memories will be erased eventually.

—
But let me tell you what you will become, 
you will become everything beautiful, you will be the waves that kiss the shore and the stars in the sky , you will be the sunny rays on a rainy day & you will learn to love with all your perfect heart and your unlimited mind.

I promise 

With you its unending 1:54 AM

Naïve

I used to believe that GOD mixed glitter in the ocean which made it sparkle, and that powdered milk came from the clouds. 

I was a naïve child

Not too long ago i believed that you loved me. 

Somethings never change…

012

Let me tell you a short sad story about a girl 
who cared about everyone, and everything until she became someone she hated. 
Excuse her for the time being she’s lost , forgive her she’s confused. 
Hurting others while you hurt isn’t any fun. 

Yours truly. 

Scribbles

I’m trying not to be a bitter soul But remember the piece you took from me 

I replaced it with a part of your souless soul

So now i have become what hurt me 

Bare with me i’m in pain and 

I’m trying to sober up from all this intake see 

I was pure and white 

but i took your angry tone

And your dirty looks 

You took the sparkle in my eye and fed off my vibe 

Now i am you dwelling in another body 

Someone help me i have become something i hate. 

Those two.

There will be nights where as soon as you lay your head down on the pillow,
nostalgia comes knocking on your door; As if insomnia wasn’t enough.

You get stuck between the what ifs and i remember suddenly, your past …

Well your past suddenly becomes bright and Mr. Nostalgia blurs out the hurt you were in and the pain you went through 

While Mrs. Insomnia makes you think of all the reasons why it could’ve worked or why you could’ve done a better job at not doing what you did. 

You forgot where you went wrong and your face is soaked in those salty drops you call tears.

Its 6am and your eyelids decide to meet and your mind gets worn out and your soul escapes your body for a while.

 
It’s good to be unaware of whats going on around you, sometimes. 

Don’t you think?

I swear to you

I felt something and i wish i could explain it. 

It was like my body was telling me that i still had a bit left inside me, i wasn’t empty.

& then i understood when writers would compare their loved ones eyes with the stars in the sky and the sun when it rose. 
Because i swear to you..

that day, while you were driving on top of the mountains at 2 am, windows down, with the dimmed road lights , and the wind pushing past our hair. 

There was no space between the stars and the sky was so clear, and my face pushed against my arm outside the window pane.
My insides moved because i looked at you and it was like there was no difference the world is so beautiful ,yet so were you. 

Your eyes sparkled and i swear to you, they lit up like the fucking stars every time you’d turn to look at me like you were falling in love with me, little did you know that i already leaped into love without any take backs.

Radiate positive energy. 

 

…

Theres something beautiful about broken glass on a window pane: the intricate details, each line joining another; the different shapes it made after each crack, or that one hit that made it all shatter. 

Like you.
You were so beautifully broken and i really wanted to heal every crevice. I wanted to glue each scar with hope, every wound with optimism. I wanted to diminish your insecurities and stitch a smile that stretched so wide across your face. 

You loved sunsets and i loved sunrises , i guess that explained it.

Radiate positive energy.